The Old Accountant of Time

 

the old accountant of time
could never go,
to the places I've been,
and seen,..
all the sights,..
all the nights,..
all their might's,..
but I have been lucky,
to notice and see,
and learn from them all,
as if they had been put there
just for my benefit,
I know this isn't true,
but the combination of events
sure seems that way...
reminds me of Allan,
or Thomas
or Lewis,
and the many before me,
...,
like them,
I was less afraid than most
to enter a world
where the mind reigns supreme
and the heart flutters ceaselessly
with that immediacy of vibration,
that might one day never stop,
and last into the night of our day,
...and I hid
oh yes I did hide,
and often still do,
like they did,
one from his miserable life
and love,
another from his feeble
and fickle friends, and
the other to prove
that not art is what one thinks,
Yet another painting,
poem of paints, for saints only,
surreal they said,
weird most thought,
Zen display it was said,
so real, it hurt,
as we thought of Michelangelo,
...
In a place where edicts of mind
are stronger than any man's heart
I cry to break the chains of ugliness
and the many distraught fantasies
of fearful managers of wars
who are ready to believe
...
and attack
...
the only real book
...
to negate their own
...
heart and spirit
soul and essence,
as I am and you are
...

And the accountant of time
condemned my escape
like the first I had no love,
and had lost mine,
many dark nights ago,
after a few stories,
...
like the second, I believed
not in institutions but heart,
even through the new malt
of the gods, served amidst
the dark chambers of heart,
to find the ways of mind,
...
like the third,
I wished to be free
to break all bonds
of negative creation
and idealistic thoughts
into the hellish world
of my ...
does it matter?
...
vision of azure stone
with depths are scary
enough
for any crow to survive
theatre of loneliness
life of the morbid mind
...
I looked at the small
very small mind you
vision, colorfull
soft, liquid,
vinrations I felt
a potion I must have had?
...
I hesitated,
I thought,
Life went on,
I died,
I relived it,
...
it was still there,
and we were one and only one
and my hesitation went away.

This time I feared less
And less as time went by
and I learnt creation was
an awakening for any day
when heart and mind
finally
joined hands
and walked together
muttering not
whether we were monkeys
or snakes and lizards
idiots or ugly trees,
water matter or earth,
beings or some people
...
Yes I did hide
many times
for one billion years didn't exist
for me and for any animal
...
we were all friends
not afraid of each other
but friends
who taught me about
the existence of their real life
which is less important today
than it was for any yesterday.

And the accountant of time
begun to die
many years ago
of old age
with that old tired face
he was worn out
as a macroprosopus
and left behind
a new son born
and aware
that when he feared less
he loved the most.
...
there he hid this time
...
much to the consternation
of a social demon
who believes they are right
...
and the world is wrong.
rather familiar stance
...I remembered myself,
...and even saw,

they believe God
manipulates things,
...
they believe a writer
is but hearty scum
...
they believe their mothers
birthed dirt(ily)
...
they believed in anything
with their purpose in mind
which was not to live
but to account for their
one and only time.
 

 

   

      

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